Yes, I know it's been a while since I wrote here, but the holidays are always crazy and busy and this year was no exception. With that apology, let's get to the news at hand. There are lots of things happening that cannot pass without comment.
So, big surprise, Karl Rove has gotten divorced from his second wife. I guess the "sanctity of marriage" only applies when gay people want to get married, not when straight people want to get un-married. He sucks.
The TSA (Transportation Security Administration), which obviously has its hands full in light of the recent bonehead bombing attempt, is without a leader because a Republican, Jim DeMint, refuses to confirm Obama's nominee. He's afraid the guy might - might, not will - let some workers join a union. So your safety is apparently not as important as the Republican hatred of unions. Good to know.
Also not as important as Republican hatred - your health. The healthcare bill will pass, of course, but not with any (or very little) Republican support. As we know, Republicans only care about fetuses. Once you are actually born they don't give a shit about you. Also if you are the woman carrying the fetus, they don't give a shit about you. One of the things that the healthcare bill will do is stop insurance companies from charging higher premiums just because you're a woman. Again, Republicans apparently think this is a terrible idea. Whatever. I am not rehashing the health care debate again. I just want to be here when NONE of the things Republitards like Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman want us to be so afraid of actually happen. I WILL be saying "I told you so."
And I still hate Sarah Palin. And I still do not think there is any possible way she got on a plane in Texas AFTER her water broke, and AFTER giving a speech, and then flew to Alaska and drove 3 hours to a hospital to give birth. To her 5th child. Which would have flown out of the chute with one push. Utter bullshit. I think Levi Johnston knows when, where and how that kid was really born and if this child custody case he and Bristol are in gets nasty the truth may come out.
Let's see...what else...oh, Charlie Sheen's in trouble again. SIGH. It sounds like both he and his wife have some serious issues and both of them were at fault. Of course he's the one who will get dragged through the mud, even though she was blowing a 0.14 blood alcohol level at 8:30 in the morning with two babies in the house. I'm just sayin'.
Lastly, we have this gem courtesy of the Brits. Bill O'Reilly was ripping on some interview that was conducted with Bill Ayers and he kept saying the interviewer was some "Russian who doesn't even speak English." The interviewer was actually a British woman who spoke perfect English throughout the interview. Did he even watch it before ranting and raving like a lunatic? Please watch carefully, and you will see how Americans are viewed in the rest of the world because of the buffoons on Fox News. Thanks a lot, Fox.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAlV5QFGUjw
Next up, I will be bitching about the inability of clothing manufacturers to create universal sizes for women's clothing like they do for men's clothing. I will get an expert opinion from a reader in the field and we'll discuss. :-) Ciao.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Twas the Night Before Christmas..
Courtesy of Senator Burris:
It was the night before Christmas, and all through the Senate
The right held up our health care bill, no matter what was in it
The people had voted a mandated reform
But Republicans blew off the gathering storm
We'll clog up the Senate, they cried with a grin
And in the midterm elections, we'll get voted in
They knew regular folks needed help right this second
But fundraisers, lobbyists and politics beckoned
So try as they might, Democrats could not win
Because the majority was simply too thin
Then across every state there rose such a clatter
The whole senate rushed out to see what was the matter
All sprang up from their desk and ran from the floor
Straight through the cloakroom and right out the door
And what in the world would be quite so raucous?
But a mandate for change from the Democratic caucus
The president, the Speaker, of course Leader Reid
Had answered the call in our hour of need
More rapid than eagles, the provisions they came
And they whistled and shouted and called them by name
Better coverage, cost savings, a strong public plan [sic]
Accountable options. We said, 'Yes, we can.'
No exclusions or changes for preexisting conditions
Let's pass a bill that restores competition
The Democrats all came together to fight
For the American people that Christmas Eve night
And then in a twinkle, I heard under the dome
The roll call was closed, and it was time to go home
Despite the obstructionist tactics of some
The filibuster had broken, the people had won
And a good bill was ready for President Obama
Ready to sign and end health care drama
Democrats explained as they drove out of sight
Better coverage for all, even our friends on the right.
Cute!
You'll note he left in the public option, and I am still holding out hope that the Congress will get it back in for the final version. We'll see. More tomorrow...
It was the night before Christmas, and all through the Senate
The right held up our health care bill, no matter what was in it
The people had voted a mandated reform
But Republicans blew off the gathering storm
We'll clog up the Senate, they cried with a grin
And in the midterm elections, we'll get voted in
They knew regular folks needed help right this second
But fundraisers, lobbyists and politics beckoned
So try as they might, Democrats could not win
Because the majority was simply too thin
Then across every state there rose such a clatter
The whole senate rushed out to see what was the matter
All sprang up from their desk and ran from the floor
Straight through the cloakroom and right out the door
And what in the world would be quite so raucous?
But a mandate for change from the Democratic caucus
The president, the Speaker, of course Leader Reid
Had answered the call in our hour of need
More rapid than eagles, the provisions they came
And they whistled and shouted and called them by name
Better coverage, cost savings, a strong public plan [sic]
Accountable options. We said, 'Yes, we can.'
No exclusions or changes for preexisting conditions
Let's pass a bill that restores competition
The Democrats all came together to fight
For the American people that Christmas Eve night
And then in a twinkle, I heard under the dome
The roll call was closed, and it was time to go home
Despite the obstructionist tactics of some
The filibuster had broken, the people had won
And a good bill was ready for President Obama
Ready to sign and end health care drama
Democrats explained as they drove out of sight
Better coverage for all, even our friends on the right.
Cute!
You'll note he left in the public option, and I am still holding out hope that the Congress will get it back in for the final version. We'll see. More tomorrow...
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe,
catch a Tiger by the...Oh, Lord, Mr. Woods what have you done?
Turns out Tiger Woods is not the chivalrous Mr. Perfect we thought (assumed, hoped) he was. His infidelity began as a rumor following a very suspicious car accident, but has pretty well been confirmed by his admission of indiscretions. Unconfirmed, but sounding more and more true, is the existence of several mistresses. SIGH. It's starting to sound like he had a woman in every town, much like rock stars and politicians who have been caught with their pants down.
This story unfolded slowly enough that I went through many "wonderings." When it was first reported he was in a "serious" car accident, I wondered if he was okay. When it was reported that said accident was practically in his own driveway at 2:30 in the morning, I wondered if he was drunk and where the hell he would have been going at 2:30. Then there was the report that his wife, Elin, broke the back window of his SUV in "an attempt to help him," so I wondered how she meant to do that - break the back window, crawl into the SUV and then pull him to safety out the back, even though the doors were functional? I wondered how they expected anyone to believe that. I started to wonder, as did most of the world, if what really happened was that Elin finally confronted him about the women's numbers in his phone and, after probably fighting for hours, he stormed out of the house. Then the rest came out and this is what I wondered: "Why, oh why, do these men think they're going to get away with this shit?"
I mean, really, in this age of cell phone cameras, text messages, emails, voice mails, how does someone as famous as Tiger Woods think he has any sense of privacy with some chick he met in a diner? Duh. You're Tiger Woods. Do you really think the little whore you're sharing your most intimate fantasies with is going to keep her mouth shut? Do y'all remember how grossed out we were that Monica kept "the dress?" No need for DNA evidence here - the "ladies" have digital proof that they are more than happy to share. And it's not just stuff like "Hey, this is Tiger, uh, Schmoods, meet me at our secret place.." No, at least one of the four women who have come forward says she has messages where he talked/wrote about erotic dreams and sexual fantasies. Embarrassing? Oh, yeah. His own damn fault? Yep, that too.
It's not just embarrassing for Tiger, of course. His poor wife must be mortified and his kids must be wondering why mommy and daddy aren't speaking to each other. I've never understood these guys who marry models, for Christ's sake, and then cheat on them! I mean at least two assholes cheated on Halle Berry! Just goes to show you, being beautiful does not make you immune to a wandering eye.
Tiger and Elin have two children, one of whom will not even be one until February. That means he was cheating on his wife while she was pregnant and caring for his toddler. That's really, really shitty. Shittier than just plain cheating, in my opinion. And what about the sluts he was seeing? They knew he was married and had babies at home. I wonder if there are any other women who told him to take his giant penis (at least that's what I hear) and shove it somewhere else, like into his right hand, for example, if he was lonely on the road. Maybe for every little star-fucker who couldn't stop herself there were several who said "no, thanks, how's your wife these days?" Maybe. But I kind of doubt it. I think these guys get a sense of which girls will say "yes." Rent the movie "Funny People" with Adam Sandler and Seth Rogan. You'll see what I mean.
Now what I'm wondering is how horrible it must have been for his wife to realize that they can no longer pretend everything is okay. You have a huge fight, your husband storms off and gets in an accident, the whole neighborhood is woken by the ambulance and police, and he's taken to the hospital. You have to try to get some sleep because the kids will be up in the morning, but you know that nothing will be the same again. He's famous, you're famous, and there's an insatiable 24-hour news cycle. Then his "indiscretions" are all over the Internet for all your friends and family, as well as total strangers, to see. If she wasn't taking a "mommy's little helper," she will be now, just to get through the day.
I guess this is just a good wake-up call that as much as we admire a man's (or woman's) skill as an athlete or an actor, we don't know anything about them as people. Tiger will "survive" this as an athlete, but whether his family survives intact is yet to be seen. Sad, sad.
Turns out Tiger Woods is not the chivalrous Mr. Perfect we thought (assumed, hoped) he was. His infidelity began as a rumor following a very suspicious car accident, but has pretty well been confirmed by his admission of indiscretions. Unconfirmed, but sounding more and more true, is the existence of several mistresses. SIGH. It's starting to sound like he had a woman in every town, much like rock stars and politicians who have been caught with their pants down.
This story unfolded slowly enough that I went through many "wonderings." When it was first reported he was in a "serious" car accident, I wondered if he was okay. When it was reported that said accident was practically in his own driveway at 2:30 in the morning, I wondered if he was drunk and where the hell he would have been going at 2:30. Then there was the report that his wife, Elin, broke the back window of his SUV in "an attempt to help him," so I wondered how she meant to do that - break the back window, crawl into the SUV and then pull him to safety out the back, even though the doors were functional? I wondered how they expected anyone to believe that. I started to wonder, as did most of the world, if what really happened was that Elin finally confronted him about the women's numbers in his phone and, after probably fighting for hours, he stormed out of the house. Then the rest came out and this is what I wondered: "Why, oh why, do these men think they're going to get away with this shit?"
I mean, really, in this age of cell phone cameras, text messages, emails, voice mails, how does someone as famous as Tiger Woods think he has any sense of privacy with some chick he met in a diner? Duh. You're Tiger Woods. Do you really think the little whore you're sharing your most intimate fantasies with is going to keep her mouth shut? Do y'all remember how grossed out we were that Monica kept "the dress?" No need for DNA evidence here - the "ladies" have digital proof that they are more than happy to share. And it's not just stuff like "Hey, this is Tiger, uh, Schmoods, meet me at our secret place.." No, at least one of the four women who have come forward says she has messages where he talked/wrote about erotic dreams and sexual fantasies. Embarrassing? Oh, yeah. His own damn fault? Yep, that too.
It's not just embarrassing for Tiger, of course. His poor wife must be mortified and his kids must be wondering why mommy and daddy aren't speaking to each other. I've never understood these guys who marry models, for Christ's sake, and then cheat on them! I mean at least two assholes cheated on Halle Berry! Just goes to show you, being beautiful does not make you immune to a wandering eye.
Tiger and Elin have two children, one of whom will not even be one until February. That means he was cheating on his wife while she was pregnant and caring for his toddler. That's really, really shitty. Shittier than just plain cheating, in my opinion. And what about the sluts he was seeing? They knew he was married and had babies at home. I wonder if there are any other women who told him to take his giant penis (at least that's what I hear) and shove it somewhere else, like into his right hand, for example, if he was lonely on the road. Maybe for every little star-fucker who couldn't stop herself there were several who said "no, thanks, how's your wife these days?" Maybe. But I kind of doubt it. I think these guys get a sense of which girls will say "yes." Rent the movie "Funny People" with Adam Sandler and Seth Rogan. You'll see what I mean.
Now what I'm wondering is how horrible it must have been for his wife to realize that they can no longer pretend everything is okay. You have a huge fight, your husband storms off and gets in an accident, the whole neighborhood is woken by the ambulance and police, and he's taken to the hospital. You have to try to get some sleep because the kids will be up in the morning, but you know that nothing will be the same again. He's famous, you're famous, and there's an insatiable 24-hour news cycle. Then his "indiscretions" are all over the Internet for all your friends and family, as well as total strangers, to see. If she wasn't taking a "mommy's little helper," she will be now, just to get through the day.
I guess this is just a good wake-up call that as much as we admire a man's (or woman's) skill as an athlete or an actor, we don't know anything about them as people. Tiger will "survive" this as an athlete, but whether his family survives intact is yet to be seen. Sad, sad.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Andrew Sullivan is my Hero
People who think they are in line with the current conservative movement should read this carefully:
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2009/12/leaving-the-right.html
A summary:
"...my attachment to the Anglo-American conservative political tradition, as I understand it, is real and deep and the result of sincere reflection on the world as I see it. And I want that tradition to survive because I believe it is a vital complement to liberalism in sustaining the genius and wonder of the modern West.
For these reasons, I found it intolerable after 2003 to support the movement that goes by the name "conservative" in America.
I cannot support a movement that claims to believe in limited government but backed an unlimited domestic and foreign policy presidency that assumed illegal, extra-constitutional dictatorial powers until forced by the system to return to the rule of law.
I cannot support a movement that exploded spending and borrowing and blames its successor for the debt.
I cannot support a movement that holds torture as a core value.
I cannot support a movement that holds that purely religious doctrine should govern civil political decisions and that uses the sacredness of religious faith for the pursuit of worldly power.
I cannot support a movement that is deeply homophobic, cynically deploys fear of homosexuals to win votes, and gives off such a racist vibe that its share of the minority vote remains pitiful.
I cannot support a movement that would back a vice-presidential candidate manifestly unqualified and duplicitous because of identity politics and electoral cynicism.
I cannot support a movement that regards gay people as threats to their own families.
I cannot support a movement that does not accept evolution as a fact.
I cannot support a movement that refuses to distance itself from a demagogue like Rush Limbaugh or a nutjob like Glenn Beck."
There's more, and it's brilliant. Food for thought, people, food for thought.
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2009/12/leaving-the-right.html
A summary:
"...my attachment to the Anglo-American conservative political tradition, as I understand it, is real and deep and the result of sincere reflection on the world as I see it. And I want that tradition to survive because I believe it is a vital complement to liberalism in sustaining the genius and wonder of the modern West.
For these reasons, I found it intolerable after 2003 to support the movement that goes by the name "conservative" in America.
I cannot support a movement that claims to believe in limited government but backed an unlimited domestic and foreign policy presidency that assumed illegal, extra-constitutional dictatorial powers until forced by the system to return to the rule of law.
I cannot support a movement that exploded spending and borrowing and blames its successor for the debt.
I cannot support a movement that holds torture as a core value.
I cannot support a movement that holds that purely religious doctrine should govern civil political decisions and that uses the sacredness of religious faith for the pursuit of worldly power.
I cannot support a movement that is deeply homophobic, cynically deploys fear of homosexuals to win votes, and gives off such a racist vibe that its share of the minority vote remains pitiful.
I cannot support a movement that would back a vice-presidential candidate manifestly unqualified and duplicitous because of identity politics and electoral cynicism.
I cannot support a movement that regards gay people as threats to their own families.
I cannot support a movement that does not accept evolution as a fact.
I cannot support a movement that refuses to distance itself from a demagogue like Rush Limbaugh or a nutjob like Glenn Beck."
There's more, and it's brilliant. Food for thought, people, food for thought.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving -- Really
Happy Thanksgiving!
This is a great holiday for a lot of reasons: great food, gathering with family and friends, spending time thinking about what you are truly thankful for, and no gift-giving stress. You can enjoy Thanksgiving without running around gathering presents, baskets of eggs or heart-shaped boxes of candy. It exists simply for us to share a meal and remember that no matter the hardships we may be facing, we are blessed to be Americans and to have love in our lives.
Princess #4 is hosting Thanksgiving this year, her first as a (kind of) newlywed. She's breaking out the wedding china and good silver and even making a turducken. Best of all, she actually spoke to MARTHA STEWART on the radio to get tips on making the perfect Thanksgiving meal. How cool is that? With St. Martha's blessing we can't lose. After dinner we'll play Rummy Royal for pennies, our traditional family game. There will be great food and drink and a lot of laughter. I can't wait. :-)
I do feel incredibly blessed. I hope you do, too.
Here is a little bit of a message President Obama sent to supporters earlier today, which I think is worth sharing:
"Our families are bound together through times of joy and times of grief. They shape us, support us, instill the values that guide us as individuals, and make possible all that we achieve.
So tomorrow, I'll be giving thanks for my family -- for all the wisdom, support, and love they have brought into my life.
We are grateful beyond words for the service and hard work of so many Americans who make our country great through their sacrifice. And this year, we know that far too many face a daily struggle that puts the comfort and security we all deserve painfully out of reach.
When we gather tomorrow, let us also use the occasion to renew our commitment to building a more peaceful and prosperous future that every American family can enjoy."
Amen, brother.
This is a great holiday for a lot of reasons: great food, gathering with family and friends, spending time thinking about what you are truly thankful for, and no gift-giving stress. You can enjoy Thanksgiving without running around gathering presents, baskets of eggs or heart-shaped boxes of candy. It exists simply for us to share a meal and remember that no matter the hardships we may be facing, we are blessed to be Americans and to have love in our lives.
Princess #4 is hosting Thanksgiving this year, her first as a (kind of) newlywed. She's breaking out the wedding china and good silver and even making a turducken. Best of all, she actually spoke to MARTHA STEWART on the radio to get tips on making the perfect Thanksgiving meal. How cool is that? With St. Martha's blessing we can't lose. After dinner we'll play Rummy Royal for pennies, our traditional family game. There will be great food and drink and a lot of laughter. I can't wait. :-)
I do feel incredibly blessed. I hope you do, too.
Here is a little bit of a message President Obama sent to supporters earlier today, which I think is worth sharing:
"Our families are bound together through times of joy and times of grief. They shape us, support us, instill the values that guide us as individuals, and make possible all that we achieve.
So tomorrow, I'll be giving thanks for my family -- for all the wisdom, support, and love they have brought into my life.
We are grateful beyond words for the service and hard work of so many Americans who make our country great through their sacrifice. And this year, we know that far too many face a daily struggle that puts the comfort and security we all deserve painfully out of reach.
When we gather tomorrow, let us also use the occasion to renew our commitment to building a more peaceful and prosperous future that every American family can enjoy."
Amen, brother.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Dear Sarah Palin Fans, (this post is rated R)
THIS IS WHY WE HATE YOU:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/23/palin-supporters-struggle_n_367800.html
My blood is boiling right now. At first this video is funny, because the people standing in line to see Palin are so unbelievably stupid that you have to laugh. They're fucking hillbillies, talking about how great Sarah Palin is and how she's going to save America. But when asked exactly what she stands for...they have no idea.
One guy says that Sarah lives "across the street from Russia" so she knows foreign policy.
A woman says that as governor of Alaska, Sarah had "top security clearance, because if the borders are attacked she's in charge." WHAT?
Another lady says Sarah will "drill, baby, drill," for oil and gas! Really? Both OIL and GAS? Wow. That's great. So Sarah can just become the president and the drilling will begin immediately and end our dependence on foreign oil. Is that how you think it works? Fucking moron.
Then there's the guy who wants Palin to win in 2012 but concedes that she can't because "Obama is naturalizing all the illegal aliens right now" and there aren't enough white people to off-set those votes. Yep, they're gonna take over the election. Be very afraid. The best part is right at the end, where the guy says he gets all this great information from watching Fox News.
And then there's the guy who says that President Obama (YEAH, A BLACK MAN'S THE PRESIDENT YOU FUCKING HILLBILLY. GET OVER IT) wrote two books where he laid out all his ideas for ruining this country, including all of his "Marxist, Leninist and socialist ideas." Gee, did you actually READ those books? No, of course not. No places to color. Well I did. The first one was written in 1995 when he was right out of law school. It is about, and ONLY about, his family, his father, his path to knowing his African heritage, and trying to help the poor in Chicago. The other book, The Audacity of Hope, talks about his hopes and dreams for a stronger America, including chapters on faith, race, the Constitution and his goal of bi-partisan cooperation. Ooh, scary. And speaking of the Constitution, he knows and respects it. He taught Constitutional law, for Christ's sake. He knows more about the Constitution than you and me and 99% of the people in this country.
You can laugh at the morons - they're like a Saturday Night Live skit, for Christ's sake - but THESE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE. That's terrifying. They have no idea what they're talking about or what Palin stands for or what the truth is. I know that this is the price we pay for living in a democracy, and believe me, I wouldn't change it for the world, but that doesn't mean this kind of thing doesn't make me sick to my stomach.
I feel a little better after ranting. Peace out.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/23/palin-supporters-struggle_n_367800.html
My blood is boiling right now. At first this video is funny, because the people standing in line to see Palin are so unbelievably stupid that you have to laugh. They're fucking hillbillies, talking about how great Sarah Palin is and how she's going to save America. But when asked exactly what she stands for...they have no idea.
One guy says that Sarah lives "across the street from Russia" so she knows foreign policy.
A woman says that as governor of Alaska, Sarah had "top security clearance, because if the borders are attacked she's in charge." WHAT?
Another lady says Sarah will "drill, baby, drill," for oil and gas! Really? Both OIL and GAS? Wow. That's great. So Sarah can just become the president and the drilling will begin immediately and end our dependence on foreign oil. Is that how you think it works? Fucking moron.
Then there's the guy who wants Palin to win in 2012 but concedes that she can't because "Obama is naturalizing all the illegal aliens right now" and there aren't enough white people to off-set those votes. Yep, they're gonna take over the election. Be very afraid. The best part is right at the end, where the guy says he gets all this great information from watching Fox News.
And then there's the guy who says that President Obama (YEAH, A BLACK MAN'S THE PRESIDENT YOU FUCKING HILLBILLY. GET OVER IT) wrote two books where he laid out all his ideas for ruining this country, including all of his "Marxist, Leninist and socialist ideas." Gee, did you actually READ those books? No, of course not. No places to color. Well I did. The first one was written in 1995 when he was right out of law school. It is about, and ONLY about, his family, his father, his path to knowing his African heritage, and trying to help the poor in Chicago. The other book, The Audacity of Hope, talks about his hopes and dreams for a stronger America, including chapters on faith, race, the Constitution and his goal of bi-partisan cooperation. Ooh, scary. And speaking of the Constitution, he knows and respects it. He taught Constitutional law, for Christ's sake. He knows more about the Constitution than you and me and 99% of the people in this country.
You can laugh at the morons - they're like a Saturday Night Live skit, for Christ's sake - but THESE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE. That's terrifying. They have no idea what they're talking about or what Palin stands for or what the truth is. I know that this is the price we pay for living in a democracy, and believe me, I wouldn't change it for the world, but that doesn't mean this kind of thing doesn't make me sick to my stomach.
I feel a little better after ranting. Peace out.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
The Politics of Penises and Pregnancies
An astute reader brought to my attention a new drug in the fight against a disease that afflicts an enormous number of men in America, causing untold pain, suffering and humiliation, and ruining families, marriages and lives. I am speaking, of course, about erectile dysfunction.
Yes, apparently having three choices of pills (Viagra, Levitra and Cialis), along with numerous homeopathic and surgical options, is not enough to combat the terror of limp dick syndrome. Now there is a new option, a pill called Avanafil. The manufacturer has released studies that show it works in 20-30 minutes, much faster than the other medicines. No more waiting, ladies!
I am not surprised, sadly, since BILLIONS of dollars are spent every year on research, production and distribution of dick pills. Seriously. I looked it up. $3.8 billion in sales alone, not including research and development. And more than half of insurance companies cover the pills.
So I am just going to sit back now and wait for Congress to debate the merits of health insurance coverage for erectile dysfunction remedies. I'm sure it will be a raucous debate, with all those conservatives insisting that there is no need to provide coverage for this unnecessary and elective medical intervention. Surely tax payer dollars should not be going to insurance companies that would pay for grandpa and grandma to get it on, or for some wrinkled old CEO to bang his secretary, or for some sex offender to get his jollies (this happens more than you think - Google it). That would be wrong and we won't stand for it.
(Crickets.)
Yeah, I know that's not going to happen. Why is it that a bunch of crabby old white men can get all up into our uteruses like they own the joint but impotence is a dirty word? Why doesn't a female Senator demand that no tax payer dollars go to treat erectile dysfunction? Why in the world is abortion - which is still legal, by the way - even coming into the discussion? Has no one figured out the the penis and the pregnancy are related? Apparently the Republican National Committee knows this because until this week the RNC's own health insurance covered abortions. You read that right - Michael Steele just found out about it and canceled that coverage, but it has been there since the early '90s.
So if the conservatives get their way, is the morning-after pill going to be covered for a rape victim? After all, Sarah Palin and her friends equate the morning-after pill to abortion. Did you know that Palin actually passed a law in Alaska that rape victims be charged for the cost of the rape kit used to collect evidence? Yes, I checked. She found out that the rape kit contains a pill to stop an impending pregnancy and she refused to use tax payer dollars for the kit, so now if you get raped in Alaska (which is more likely to occur than in any other state in the nation) you will receive an invoice from the state for the rape evidence kit. Nice, huh? Raped once by a thug and again by Sarah Palin.
Now, I'm not saying that abortion should be used as birth control. Birth control should be used as birth control. For every government dollar spent on birth control, $4 is saved in expenses related to unwanted pregnancies. But when birth control fails, rape or incest has occurred, or the mother's health (and yes, that includes mental health) is at risk, abortions should remain safe and legal.
I did not invent the opening description of erectile dysfunction for comic effect, although I could have. I took it from various men's health websites. Which helps me make this point: whether you like it or not, legal abortion counts as women's health care, just as much as Viagra counts as men's health care.
Yes, apparently having three choices of pills (Viagra, Levitra and Cialis), along with numerous homeopathic and surgical options, is not enough to combat the terror of limp dick syndrome. Now there is a new option, a pill called Avanafil. The manufacturer has released studies that show it works in 20-30 minutes, much faster than the other medicines. No more waiting, ladies!
I am not surprised, sadly, since BILLIONS of dollars are spent every year on research, production and distribution of dick pills. Seriously. I looked it up. $3.8 billion in sales alone, not including research and development. And more than half of insurance companies cover the pills.
So I am just going to sit back now and wait for Congress to debate the merits of health insurance coverage for erectile dysfunction remedies. I'm sure it will be a raucous debate, with all those conservatives insisting that there is no need to provide coverage for this unnecessary and elective medical intervention. Surely tax payer dollars should not be going to insurance companies that would pay for grandpa and grandma to get it on, or for some wrinkled old CEO to bang his secretary, or for some sex offender to get his jollies (this happens more than you think - Google it). That would be wrong and we won't stand for it.
(Crickets.)
Yeah, I know that's not going to happen. Why is it that a bunch of crabby old white men can get all up into our uteruses like they own the joint but impotence is a dirty word? Why doesn't a female Senator demand that no tax payer dollars go to treat erectile dysfunction? Why in the world is abortion - which is still legal, by the way - even coming into the discussion? Has no one figured out the the penis and the pregnancy are related? Apparently the Republican National Committee knows this because until this week the RNC's own health insurance covered abortions. You read that right - Michael Steele just found out about it and canceled that coverage, but it has been there since the early '90s.
So if the conservatives get their way, is the morning-after pill going to be covered for a rape victim? After all, Sarah Palin and her friends equate the morning-after pill to abortion. Did you know that Palin actually passed a law in Alaska that rape victims be charged for the cost of the rape kit used to collect evidence? Yes, I checked. She found out that the rape kit contains a pill to stop an impending pregnancy and she refused to use tax payer dollars for the kit, so now if you get raped in Alaska (which is more likely to occur than in any other state in the nation) you will receive an invoice from the state for the rape evidence kit. Nice, huh? Raped once by a thug and again by Sarah Palin.
Now, I'm not saying that abortion should be used as birth control. Birth control should be used as birth control. For every government dollar spent on birth control, $4 is saved in expenses related to unwanted pregnancies. But when birth control fails, rape or incest has occurred, or the mother's health (and yes, that includes mental health) is at risk, abortions should remain safe and legal.
I did not invent the opening description of erectile dysfunction for comic effect, although I could have. I took it from various men's health websites. Which helps me make this point: whether you like it or not, legal abortion counts as women's health care, just as much as Viagra counts as men's health care.
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