You Must See "This is It"

Just got back from seeing Michael Jackson's "This is It". Run, don't walk, to your nearest theater and SEE THIS MOVIE.

In case you have been living under a rock, this is the movie that was made from the footage shot during rehearsals for what would have been a 50-concert final public performance for the genius that is Michael Jackson. The movie is a documentary, really, giving us mortals a glimpse into the world around Michael Jackson. It is quite amazing to realize you are seeing something that only a few dozen people have ever seen. Unless you were among the lucky few to be chosen as dancers, or in his band or production crew, you would never be able to see Jackson in rehearsal. I said to my friend, "This is the most we have ever heard him speak." This is the chance for you to see him in a casual way, making jokes, chatting with people, insisting on perfection (but always "with love") and just being himself, as normal as you can be when you are so blessed and so burdened.

He was very thin, yes, and dressed in some crazy outfits - but to be fair, so were the back up dancers. The thing is, this 50-year old man was not only keeping up with dancers half his age, he was putting them to shame. He still had it - the moves, the voice, the incredible gift for drama and timing. He was absolutely throwing his whole self into a celebration of his relationship with his fans.

You see and hear the music and the dancing, of course, but you also see the films and special effects that were developed for this concert but never used. A revamped version of the graveyard scene from Thriller (in 3D), an army of dancers created with CG, a film noir back-drop for "Smooth Criminal," a lush rainforest being destroyed. The rainforest scene includes an impassioned speech where Jackson pleads with us to listen to our planet and respect it, before it's too late. Just spine-tingling.

The other thing that stuck me was how truly loving, gentle and spiritual this man was. I find myself thinking more and more about his children, and how harsh their world must be without him.

Seeing this movie makes you know, for sure, that there will never be another entertainer like Michael Jackson. As my friend said, it is just a crying shame that we are seeing this because he's gone.

John Maynard Keynes was Gay!

Wow - I did not realize it has been so long since the Stupid Shoes post! Sorry about that, for the four of you who read this. :-D

So here's the revelation of the day - John Maynard Keynes, super famous brilliant economist (1883-1946), was gay! I did not know that, probably because people just never acknowledge the contributions of gay people in society outside of the arts. Whenever you read or hear the phrase "Keynsian economics" this is the guy they're talking about. Keynes married eventually, because he was famous and needed a hostess, but the list of his male lovers was long and documented. This fact was included in the chapters on him that we are reading for my History of Economic Thought class. It was great because his lovers were included in a very nonchalant way, as a simple fact of his life and not as an oddity or a scandal. Perfect.

In other news, quite the opposite, I am sorry to report that Sarah Palin will be giving a "speech" (if you can call what she does "speaking") in West Allis on November 6th. So if the air smells a little stupid, racist or homophobic that day, you'll know why. No need to panic. She'll leave soon after, if in fact she shows up at all. She has been a no-show for all but one of her supposed speaking engagements outside of Alaska. God, I hate her so much.

Let's see...what else... OH! Here's a little tip. If you are making a savory dish and don't have any milk, you can use Ranch dressing as a substitute. I was making scalloped potatoes from a box mix the other night (don't judge) and realized half-way through that we didn't have any milk. The box called for 3/4 of a cup of milk. I used about half a cup of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing and a little water and it turned out great. Really tasty, with the nice herbs from the dressing.

That's it for now. If you have any good emergency substitution tips, leave a comment. Also, a friend and I are going to see the Michael Jackson movie "This is It" this week and I'll tell you all about it!

The Stupidest Shoes I've Ever Seen

I used to think that these were the ugliest, stupidest shoes I had ever seen:

Yes, they are split at the big toe like cow hooves. How in bloody hell did anyone think this was a good idea? The woman in the photo above is Sarah Jessica Parker. Jesus. How can she go from gorgeous Manolo Blahnik pumps to these monstrosities? Seriously, how much money did they pay her to put these on and be photographed in them? No matter how much, it wasn't enough. No surprise, she was never seen in them again.

Now, as I said, those USED TO BE the ugliest shoes ever created. These, gentle readers, are just a few of the creations from Alexander McQueen's collection for spring/summer 2010:

Can you even believe this??? And these aren't the worst of them - just the best photo I could find. See that thing in the middle? The models were wearing ankle boots like that that were painted to look like bugs. I am not kidding. All of the models were wearing these ridiculous shoes and could barely walk. The dresses, hair and makeup were all completely hideous and you could just tell the models were thinking "Please, Lord, just get me off this runway without breaking a leg so I can hide somewhere and reclaim my life."

Okay, here's a photo I just found of one of the models:

Doesn't she look beautiful and glamorous? Don't you just wanna run right out and get a dress and shoes like this? Aren't you glad millions of dollars were spent creating and unveiling this "highly anticipated" collection? Haven't you always wanted to go out to dinner looking like a giant moth? BARF.

So dumb. This is why real people don't "get" high fashion. It's a completely stupid useless waste of time and money. If there is one good reason in the world why these shoes or ugly-ass clothes should exist I would like to know what it is.

The Difference Between Men and Women

I should be studying for tomorrow night's Economics exam, but I am frantically cleaning because a woman is coming in the morning to assess my worth as a human being.

Well, actually she is coming to assess the value of our condo for a re-finance, but as any red-blooded American woman knows, she is really coming to JUDGE me and and the home I keep.

This is the difference between men and women. When the folks at Wells Fargo said we needed an assessment, Husband said "Of course. How soon can you get here?" I started wondering if I had time to buy new color-coordinated plastic bins for the closets and garage. (I don't.) When we tell men we're refinancing they say, "What rate did you get?" My mother's first words were, "Make sure the carpet looks good."

So today I did the normal dusting, vacuuming and cleaning the kitchen, but I also washed the floors, cleaned the bathrooms including the shower doors (yea for Mr. Clean Eraser!) and vacuumed the dust off the fans on the bathroom ceilings, which I usually do approximately never. I know she's gonna look up there. I also stashed half the crap on the kitchen counters into the cupboards so it looks neater and did all the laundry so there won't be a basket of dirty clothes in the closet. (I'll probably do one more in the morning with our clothes from today. I'm not even kidding.)

The biggest and most important project of the day, which I am almost done with, is using Scott's Liquid Gold on all the woodwork, doors and cupboards. If you don't know, this stuff is indeed worth its weight in gold. You spray it on a cloth and just lightly wipe the wood, and it cleans it and makes it look beautiful and glowing - not shiny or sticky. According to the can, it "restores and enhances wood's natural color, grain and luster; removes dust, deep cleans and replenishes moisture; helps protect against cracking, warping and fading; and hides nicks and scratches." I don't know what's in it, but it smells like almonds. So the assessor lady is either going to say "My! What beautiful wood!" or she's going to think "Jesus, these people drink a lot of Amaretto."

The lady is coming tomorrow at 8 a.m. EIGHT O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING. Cripes. So Husband will wake me up when he leaves for work at 7:00 and I have one hour to do the last-minute things like make the bed, Windex the bathrooms again, replace the ratty towel Husband refuses to throw away with a new one, and throw all the clutter into covered baskets. I also have to remember to remove or at least turn around the tube of foot cream I have in the shower. It's a great product called "Toe the Line," on which my 45 year-old husband wrote, with a Sharpie, the word "Camel." SIGH.

During that precious hour I also have to make myself look presentable, of course, and drink enough coffee to appear coherent. At least when she's gone I will be up and ready to study for the whole day.

You may think I am over-doing it, but I want this woman to write on her clipboard "A+! This is the most well-cared for home I have ever assessed!" Face it, women are afraid of how other women judge their housekeeping skills and will do anything to appear better homemakers than they really are. Men do things like write "camel" on a tube of "Toe the Line."

More Proof that Fox News Lies to You

As if we needed more...a few days ago Glenn Beck told his astute viewers that we should fight against having the Olympics in Chicago because we can't afford it. In fact, he said, Vancouver "lost a billion dollars when they had the Olympics." Yeah, uh, when was that again Glenn?

2010.

What? 2010 is in the FUTURE, as in, the Vancouver Olympics HAVEN'T HAPPENED YET.

So seriously, how much fact checking could Mr. Beck possibly have done while writing the script for his show? How the fuck does he gather information, by listening to schizophrenics talk to themselves on the subway? Even Jon Stewart has a room full of fact-checkers, and he's on a fake news show!

We're getting the Olympics and it's going to be awesome.

UPDATE:

We didn't get the Olympics. Oh well. Woulda been awesome. I guess it makes sense that Rio gets it, since South America has never hosted an Olympics (never? didn't realize that.)

This question did come up in class though - will the "Summer Olympics" be during the Brazilian summer, which is our winter, or during the Brazilian winter, which is summer for Europe and North America? I would supppose their winter is still as warm as a regular summer, and probably better for the athletes than the super hot, humid Brazilian summers. Who knows?